i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
