Your tits are I can't wait for
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize