what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
