what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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