Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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