oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
