I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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