Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
