had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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