as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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