So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
