I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
