Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
