Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
