Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
