Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
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So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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