Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
