happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
