White coat. Heels.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
