If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
A+ Viking dick
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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