If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
