he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
