Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Mom said you looked used
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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