His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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