I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there was a trapeze. enough said
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
