I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
