i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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