are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
