I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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