jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
