OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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