I've blown a few things in my day
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
