I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
