i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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