So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
