I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
