What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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