i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
