so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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