I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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