Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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