As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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