The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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