So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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