We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
