It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize