So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
