What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
