My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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