Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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