garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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