Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
where are my eyebrows?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
