Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
