You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
