I accidentally had phone sex last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Who died my cat blue again?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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