a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize