I just made out with a guy for $7.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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