brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
