The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
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you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
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It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize