Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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