I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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