call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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