a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
